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I walk into Ms. Sylvester’s office and I look around. Burt, Mr. Schuester and the coach are looking at me with… pity. What? Pity? Why?
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Have a seat Santana.” Sue says and I look at her with suspicion. I walk to one of the empty chairs and sit down. Something must be wrong but what? I sit down, while casting a glance to Burt. His eyes and expression are blank. Mr. Schue lays his hand on my shoulder for a split second. I frown at him. What is going on in here?
“I’m afraid we have some bad news…” Sue says and I frown slightly. I have absolutely no idea what this is about. Did I do something wrong? Did someone die? “And I think that I might be the blame.” Wow, she sounds so nice… What is going on?
“Oh, you think?” Asks a sarcastic Burt who is pacing behind me with Mr. Schue.
“Watch your blood pressure, Bubbles.” Coach says. She sounds like her old self for a slight second. “In my campaign to become Ohio’s newest congresswoman, I‘ve said some things that are not true and I don’t feel good about it.” She stands up and walks closer to me. I just look at her, still not understanding why this is happening. “I set the tone for this campaign. And now I’m afraid that my slanderous chickens have come home to roost.” She says, looking at me with something in her eyes I’ve never seen before. She is seems sorry. Before I can even ask what is happening, Mr. Schue speaks up.
“Santana, you have to know that I have a counselor standing by that specializes in this.”
“It’s something I’ve been through first hand. I’d be willing to talk your family through it.”
“What are you talking about?” I finally ask.
Burt stands up, and walks over to the TV. “Reggie the Sauce Salazar sent me an advanced copy of his latest campaign add.”
“Turns out he has a niece that goes to the school and she overheard a conversation a couple of days ago between you and Finn Hudson.” Sue tells me and the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. I look away from her; my mouth opens slightly when the realization hits. They know I’m gay…
The ad starts and I watch it while horror fills my entire being. This can’t be happening! This is not real! This is not possible! I’m going to kill Finn. I’m going to fucking kill him.
I’m scared. Scared about what my parents will say, scared of what will happen to me. To Brittany. I can’t stop them, my family and the people at school, the tears that are gathering in my eyes and almost pour out of my eyes. When the ad is done, I look at Sue again.
“I can’t believe this is happing.” I say, pain obvious in my voice.
“I’m so sorry.” She says but I don’t even listen.
“I haven’t even told my parents yet!” I almost yell and then I stand up, running out of the office. I know they are staring at me but the angst that I feel is so overwhelming, I don’t know what to do other than run. I go to the toilets and lock myself in one of them. I sit down on the toilet and cry. I just cry. When my parents find out, they’ll throw me out of the house, they’ll hate me. They are not even religious or anything, they just hate gay people, and they can’t stand them. They don’t even have a reason other than ‘It’s just gross.’ When everyone at school will find out, I’ll be treated just like Kurt. Like a loser. I won’t be the cool cheerleader anymore; I’ll be the freak, the weird one. My life is over. It’s just over.
The door opens and I hear someone humming ‘Someone Like You’ from Adele and I immediately know its Brittany. She hears me sobbing, I just can’t stop.
“Hello? Who is there?” She asks. I can imagine the confused look on her face. “Are you a sad unicorn?” She asks and that makes me chuckle a bit. She is so sweet and childish but in a good way.
“It’s Santana.” I say my voice cracks.
“Are you crying?” She asks, concerned. “Where are you? San, open the door.”
I sigh and unlock the door and push it open. She looks at me and gasps. “Honey, what happened?” She wants to know, walking into the stall and wrapping her arms around my waist while she sits on her knees in front of me.
“Everyone will know.” I say and I begin to cry harder.
“What?” She asks, not knowing what I mean.
I rub my forehead with the tips of my fingers. “That I’m gay.” I say and begin to sob harder. It sounds more real when I say it out loud.
She gives me a hug. “How?” She asks again.
I tell her everything from the argument I had with Finn to what I just saw in Sue’s office between tears and sobs. She is looking at me with compassion.
“Oh, that’s horrible.” She says and hugs me again. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” She tells me and kisses my cheek. It makes me feel a bit better.
“You know my parents. They’ll kill me, hate me. I just, I can’t do this, Brittany…” I say. I swallow before admitting with a small voice. “I’m so scared.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t be scared, San. I’ll be there for you all the way, every step.”
“I know but still, I can’t help but be scared.” I tell her.
“Oh, babe.” She says and hugs me a little tighter and kisses my cheek again. Such a sweet kiss it melts my heart.
“Are you going to sing?” She asks, seemingly out of nowhere.
I straighten my back, reminding myself that I need to get up that stage and sing my solo. I want to crush New Directions; I want to crush Finn Hudson. Show him that he can’t sing, like I said before. “Yeah, I will sing.” I say and while I wipe my tears away. I stand up and she does the same. We are facing each other and she gives me a small smile.
“Sweetie, I really mean it when I say that whatever happens, I’ll be there for you. You can come stay with me when your parents hate you and when someone says something mean to you your vicious, vicious words don’t stop them; I’ll stop them from hurting you, okay?” She looks at me with that cute look and I smile. I know she will always be there for me.
“Thanks, Britt-Britt.” I say and hug her tight.
“I love you, San.” She says and I smile into her blonde tresses.
“I love you to, Britt.” I say and lean back a bit. I give her a kiss that expresses how much I need her and how much I am going to need her. It contains my love for her. It contains all of it.
We part and she smiles at me.
“Let’s just sing and dance. Let’s try to forget about this, even if it is just for a few minutes.” She says sweetly and I nod. Together we walk to the auditorium, our pinkies locked.
I sing the song, always trying to look at Brittany, it kept me calm because all I wanted to do was cry. I feel so… empty and numb inside but then again, it’s like a whirlwind of emotions and pain goes through me. I can’t stand either.
When I saw Finn whispering something in Rachel’s ear at the end of the song, I got so nervous and to be honest, terrified. Did he just tell Rachel I’m a lesbian? I get so angry…When the last note sounds, I jump off the stage, while rage takes over.
“What did you just say to her?” I ask/yell at him, while pointing my finger to his ugly face. I hate him.
He looks all surprised and tells me: “I said I thought you were great.” He says, frowning a bit. Scumbag, I think.
“No, you’re lying.” I say, I know that hurt and emotional pain is showing on my face and in my voice but I can’t help it.
“No, he literally just said that.” Rachel tells me but I keep looking at Finn.
“You told her to?” I ask.
“Santana.” I hear Mr. Schuester say somewhere far away, I’m not even listening.
“Everyone is gonna know now, because of you.” I say, I point at him again.
He reacts: “The whole school already knows, and you know what, they don’t care.”
I get angrier. “Not just the school, you idiot.” I say, I spat out the last word. “Everyone!” I add.
“What are you talking ab…” The anger just keeps building up in me and before I know it, my hand makes contact with his face. The sound sounds like a mini-explosion in the auditorium. Everyone looks shocked, including me. I didn’t know this was coming. I am breathing heavy.
Rachel is the first one to speak. “What was that for?” She asks, sounding upset. She stands up and looks at me, demanding for an explanation I’m not going to give. I am still in shock. I feel a soft hand on my arm.
“San, are you alright?” She asks with that sweet voice of hers and then it happened. I felt the tear making its way down my cheek. I never cry in front of anyone, except Brittany. Now, it’s the freakin’ second time today. I feel her gather me in her arms and I just sob, for the second time today.
“Santana, I asked you someth…” Rachel says but Mercedes interjects.
“Leave it, Rachel.” She says.
I just want to get out of here, I feel everyone looking at me and I can’t stand it.
“I want to go.” I say to Brittany, who nods. She lets me go and I begin to run to the exit followed by my girlfriend. We hear Mr. Schue calling after us but we don’t react.
Mr. Schue also runs to the exit. He wants to go check up on Santana and Brittany.
“What just happened?” Artie asks.
“Yeah, Finn, tell them what just happened.” Kurt tells his step-brother with a challenging look.
“I don’t know.” He says.
“You do know why she slapped you, tell them.” Kurt urges.
“I outed Santana in the hallway.” He says softly.
“You did what?” Mercedes asked, angry.
“She was bullying me! She deserved it!” He defends himself.
“No one deserves that, Finn!” Kurt says, he is definitely fuming.
“Yeah, what’s wrong with you?!” Tina exclaimed.
“Guys, stop it!” Shelby said loud. Everyone shut up. “Go change, girls. Everybody leave the auditorium.” She says.
We stop running and slowly come to a stop somewhere in the middle of the corridor. The tears never stop streaming. My knees are weak and I’m trembling. Brittany lays her arms around me once again. I couldn’t feel more protected but still, the angst is still present.
“Please, San, stop crying. You’ll make me cry to.” She says and I just snuggle closer. I feel that she is also crying which makes me feel even sadder.
“Girls, are you two okay?” Mr. Schue asks concern in his voice.
“Yes, we’re fine.” Brittany says drying her tears with one hard, not letting me go with the other.
“Santana?” He asks and I nod.
“I’m okay.” I say, drying my tears to.
“I’m not going to say that what you did wasn’t wrong, Santana but it’s understandable and you have to know that the both Glee clubs will accept you for who you are.” Mr. Schue tells me. “The same goes for you, Brittany, we will still stand by you guys.” He says.
“Thanks, Mr. Schue.” Brittany tells him. “I’m going to get my keys and drive Santana home.”
“No, I don’t want to go home.” I say, panic present in my voice. “Don’t drive me home.”
“Okay, you can stay at my house.” She says and I nod. She let’s go of me very slowly and walks to the auditorium followed by Mr. Schue, leaving me all alone.
IN THE AUDITORIUM
Brittany walks into the auditorium and sees that everyone is standing up to leave and the Troubletones are walking backstage. When she sees Finn, she feels something hasn’t felt in a long time. Anger. Mr. Schue walks backstage together with Shelby so Brittany is left with the New Directions. She walks up to Finn, who sees something in Brittany’s normally kind eyes; now they are icy and cold. Without raising her voice once, she tells him:
“Look, Finn, I’m going to say this to you once and then never again. If you ever hurt my girlfriend again, it will not be your best day. What you did was so wrong and I can’t even begin to explain it and that’s not because I am stupid, like you think I am, that’s because there are no words to describe it. There was a reason that she didn’t come out, that doesn’t make her a coward. She doesn’t have Burt as a father; her father is the opposite of him. And Finn, I do love her, more than anything in this world so don’t ever doubt that, do I make myself clear?” She asks and all that Finn can do is nod. “Good.” She says and then walks backstage.
“Cool, she is the dude in the relationship.” Puck tells everyone who just ignore him.
“Wow, she was pissed.” Mike says and everyone looks at him, raising one eyebrow.
“You think?” Tina asks him, rolling her eyes.
I’m still standing here; I lean against the lockers and exhale. I have to stop this crying business right now. It isn’t helping and it isn’t ‘me’, I normally don’t do this kind of stuff. Emotions are not my thing. But when I think about my parents and my reputation, I feel that I’m on the verge of bursting out in tears again but I suppress it.
Why isn’t Brittany back yet? I ask myself.
Brittany walks backstage and the conversation that was going on died down, still angry and upset she looks around, ignoring everyone, looking for hers and Santana’s bag. When she spots it she walks over and grabs them.
“Is she alright?” Mercedes asks sweetly and Brittany turns around, facing her friend while she throws the bags over her shoulders.
“No, she isn’t.” Brittany answers. “I have to go.” She adds before walking out.
“Man, Finn has been so stupid. Santana was a total bitch to him but that was really a crappy thing to do.” Mercedes says to no one in particular. Everybody nods in agreement, except Mr. Schue and Shelby who just look at each other, shaking their head.
I see Brittany entering the corridor and she walks over to me.
“Let’s go.” She says and we walk to her car.